New Year's Resolutions

well, this is usually a time-honoured tradition for the tots.

with a crackling fire in the background and the air thick with smoke, we sit around our wooden table in maremma crammed with chewed out cheese and redolent of sausage fat. after getting royally plastered and resoundingly tanked on a toxic cocktail of negronis and different assortments of wine, we grab the leather-clad guestbook by the window sill and jot down about (give or take) 50 resolutions.

now many of said resolutions are de rigueur reiterations of tired old pledges from years ago (``quit smoking''), wishful thinking (``sleep with kate moss''), or just plain foolhardy (``publish nov,'' hang on that DID happen..)

this year, although the tradition still stands, i will in the cold sobriety of my working day, compile a little list i expect to be held beholden to.

1. quit smoking
2. see sister and swing my lake district to recover from ordeal
3. find fabulous new apartment with massive terrace at contained cost to live life of domesticated goddess with j and the turd.
4. take serious steps toward writing something else outside my daily fodder
5. finish year in the black

someone once said ``small realistic goals''....so..

6. become overnight sensation slash subject of christian iconography
7. be first female to make cover of vogue and vanity fair in same month
8. own property in major world hubs slash hotspots and flit between old and new continent seamlessly and effortlessly taking drags of a non-nicotine fag
9. be on first-name terms with barrack, mickey, kristin and catherine and kate in that order
10. pen award-winning, box-office smash hit and rest on laurels for a decade to create aura of mystique and expectation in the style of garbo.