Fast Times

if i had to sum naples today in one image. it would be this one. although i have plenty more. and could say plenty more.
after a long and hot day's work (that involved a 1 hour cab ride through static traffic, obtuse police that couldn't tell their arseholes from their mouth, surreal imagery in the form of friar tucks, canine guards, alpine cops in skiis exhibiting in 40 degree heat, random gun shots...etc. etc.)
i and B, who relentlessly pursued a vice finance minister to the point where work and dedication blended to spell wedication, decided lunch was in order. several miles of not quite dirt roads but rather a sweaty stroll along the beach with vesuvius as a backdrop, we have asked every sun-kissed fisherman on a place to go. BAGNO ELENA kept cropping up but getting there was like chasing the HOLY GRAIL. we kept getting told it was 100 meters away, just round the curve etc. after several miles we lose faith and hop in a cab. only to be dropped off a half second later. we are accosted by something i can only describe as a creature. a frail yet taut old toothless man with a gammy leg, an odd limp wearing nothing but shorts, a brazil cap (OLE!) and socks and trainers. he mumbled something incomprehensible and guides us to some rather STEEP steps down. (all i could think of was the horror of having to come back up, which we did promptly). BAGNO ELENA was basically a beach. with a canteen for the plebs and a rather plush side entry to a members only club, which we got into thanks to the toothless one. alas we just wanted to eat. i actually just wanted to drink.......the quest continued. we emerged victorious. bagno elena will always have a special place in my heart. as will the toothless one.