31 August, 2006

visconti's pupe

Nichts ist kälter als eine tote Lieb


it's about time i owned this.......
``It addresses something I've always been profoundly interested in – what it means to be English... it is about bigger things than the war. It takes a longer view of history, which was an extraordinarily brave thing for someone to do in 1943, at a time when history seemed to have disintegrated into its most helpless, impossible and unforgivable state.''

well said Stephen Fry.

Qui scit comburere aqua et lavare igne
facit de terra caelum,
et de caelo terram pretiosam

Gilda, are you decent?
..............Sure. I'm decent.

R.I.P. glenn ford. another great bites the dust

Venice Film Festival

Day One --

Black Dahlia - ``I Mille Colori del Male'' - (Manifesto)

30 August, 2006

for peter, old time companion

his was the quote of the day:
i think i prefer my teen crud, cruddy.

with that thought in mind, this is for you...am sure you'll recognize it......

her first hour was her finest hour

a news item flashed ealier today:
A sandwich which was half-eaten by pop singer Britney Spears is being sold on auction website eBay.

i let out a big, sad sigh

the block of the cock

there has been plenty of cockblocking recently. F has done a bang-up job of doing it on herself without the help of others for reasons known to no one, not even herself. P in the distant past has welcomed F's ability to step in and cockblock, in the most literal sense of the word, unprompted and unwanted, and Z's little slip into trecherous bell-jar waters was successfully cockblocked today by a combined intervention.

so......here's a little ditty to the cocks and the blockers. in whichever form it may take...

one-act play inspired by real-life events
p: f, scram.
f: er. what's that, p? sure, i'd like another drink.
(random exits exhausted by f's feigned cluelessness.)
p: bixch
f: you'll thank me one day.
cut to: one day
p: thank you.

cut to: another day.
f: i like someone. i better avoid.
z: 10-line whine.
(f listens)
z: i have an inkling of hope. from the depths of darkness comes a ray of light.
f: steady on old girl!

rendez-vous a minuit

another obsession to track down.....

Lors d'une projection du film Le Rendez-vous de minuit avec Lilli Palmer, un jeune critique de cinéma rencontre une femme obsédée par sa ressemblance avec l'héroïne du film. Tandis que la projection se poursuit, et à travers un Paris nocturne tantôt désert et tantôt animé, il tente de lui éviter un suicide qu'elle croit inéluctable, comme l'est au cinéma celui de Lilli Palmer. Un jeu pirandellien sur la réalité et la fiction cinématographique.



visceral loathing hard to formulate

not sure i agree with everything in this but, eerily, some things mirror my thoughts. my reaction.

``There's a big difference between a filmmaker who sets out to resist easy judgments and one who simply reproduces events without putting any thought into them'' (Salon)

but juxtaposed:

`` Van Sant wonders, and if you watch Elephant with the attention it deserves, so will you. This isn't a film about what turns kids into killing machines. It is a film that gets at the small things that can drain a heart of feeling.'' (Rolling Stone)

telese, craddle of civilization

sometimes what you don't say is more imporant than what you do

28 August, 2006


m: when we gettin it. is that the exact design. i invisioned the daryl hannah version
nappy is helping me with mine. i want a japanese symbol it's all about asia
f: that is a rough draft outline (© All rights reserved meroats) was semi thinking of getting it in asia when i'm there.
m: would you let me do it?I read on the internet you can purchase an at-home kit for only 99bucks. you can wax my crack in return
f: i will wax your crack alright if you try, and flash you a bush for free. we're going to PROS.
i think you should get something personal. not random nip symbol.
m: nip this
i know
i'm thinking of something small to begin with maybe below my ankle
f: like what? a butterfly?! you're a man now!

coats of arms, no. 8.......and other unspeakable thoughts.

debate will resume tonight at 11 p.m.

oh lordy lord.

la noche de los girasoles

a little cracker from Spain, which unlike its boot-legged neighbour, doesn't churn out crap.
director: a debutant Jorge Sánchez-Cabezudo
where to see it: venice film festival (Sept 4) , london film festival (October)

``É una riflessione sulla violenza, la possibilitá della violenza nella vita quotidiana, i processi per cui esseri umani normali, né buoni né cattivi, sono pronti ad arrivare per discolparsi e il clima morale di una societá che sta perdendo i suoi principi, peró non si giudica nessuno, solo i personaggi si definiscono moralmente da soli,direi con loro stessa sorpresa. ''

27 August, 2006

love and death and school girls

Boris, desperate and suicidal, goes to Father Andre, "holiest of holies, aged and wise, you are the most wrinkled man in the entire country." only he can help him, you see and answer that eternal question: what is the secret to a long and happy life....

I have lived many years
and, after many trials and tribulations,
I have come to the conclusion
that the best thing is...


..blonde, 12 -year-old girl


Two whenever possible

well, am with father andre in a manner of speaking. after many years, and after many bergmans and bunuels, i have come to the conclusion that the best thing is....

Teen crud
two whenever possible.

so here is an absolutely turdilicious one.

ahem...errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. buffy forever

being catherine keener

orgasm in the terrace.
please pay special attention to the NUN reference
p.s. big thank you to Miiiiiiiiichael without whom i would have never seen this article. i love you. your chips. and the royal rogering.


Published: August 27, 2006

This past year, you were nominated for an Oscar for your portrayal of Harper Lee in “Capote,” and you co-starred in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” which was a comedy; “The Interpreter,” which was a thriller; and “Friends With Money,” which was a contemporary drama about four female friends. At a time when there are so few parts for women and even fewer for women over 35, you are doing all this great work. What’s your secret?

Well, for one thing, I like being a supporting actress. I like to come and go in the film. The interesting characters are very few if you want to be the lead, and they depend on you being beautiful. Since I’m not interested in those parts, the pressure’s off, in a way. I’m not cast for my physicality. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to be in the moment. That was, to me, growing up Catholic, the appeal of the clergy — they address the moment. So, short of being a priest, I am an actor.

You grew up in Miami, and as a girl you wanted to be a nun.

I still love anything connected to nuns. That’s why I love all of Yohji Yamamoto’s designs — they look like a nun’s habit, and if I had my way, I’d always dress like a nun. As a girl, I saw every movie with nuns: “The Trouble With Angels,” “The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima.” I saw them all. I love the nun’s lifestyle: the quiet, the solitude. But then I realized they were subservient to priests, and I decided I wanted to be a priest. That’s when the trouble began. I desperately wanted to be an altar boy, and I stole a bag of unconsecrated wafers. They weren’t yet the body of Christ, but they were delicious. That was the first of my many run-ins with Catholic law.

How does Catholicism relate to show business?

Well, there is something about Catholicism that is both theatrical and pure, and movies can have that quality. There are other benefits to Catholicism: you grow up with a great sense of shame and hope and faith and naïveté.

How do you pick projects?

I’ll take a part for the director. I heard about Spike Jonze’s video work when I read “Being John Malkovich,” and I had seen “Freaks and Geeks” and knew how talented Judd Apatow was when they approached me about “40-Year-Old Virgin.” That movie has given me a new audience. The other night a group of guys who left their trash in the alley near my house got really excited when they saw me. They screamed, “Will you take my virginity?” That’s my new audience: a bunch of punks.

When you decide on a part, do you think about your co-stars?

Of course. On “The Interpreter,” I got to spend six months hanging out with Sean Penn, who I fell for hook, line and sinker. That movie was the first time my son, who is 7, ever came to the set. Now, I’m anti-gun and anti-violence, and here I am on the set with a Glock. I’m playing a woman in law enforcement, and I had handcuffs and this huge gun. That’s the first time my son really knew about my job.

Did you watch films growing up?

My dad grew up in the mountains of North Carolina, but he showed me a lot of old movies, great Bergman, Hitchcock. I loved “Marnie.”

The clothes and her hair. She had a horse and Sean Connery, every girl’s dream. If there’s a boldness — an aesthetic of sorts — I’ll take notice. And if I have a talent, it’s an ability to see the potential in any form, whether it’s “40-Year-Old Virgin” or “Capote.”

How did you get your start as an actress?

First I worked as a casting intern, and that was very helpful. It showed me how impersonal personal comments are. And yet when, years later, I went up for a movie and the note came back that I wasn’t sexy, it was a turning point for me. There’s no way to fight that criticism. I packed up the car and went to Roswell, New Mexico, with my dog and stayed for three months. Finally I realized that I could say no as easily as they could, and I somehow knew that a good job — the right job — would change everything, especially how they saw me. For me, that was an independent film called “Johnny Suede.”

Which was directed by Tom DiCillo and co-starred Brad Pitt, who was then unknown.

Yes, he was another great co-star. And that’s when I became an indie darling. The independent-film world wasn’t that established in 1991, but I realized that it was the party where I wanted to be friends with everyone. What is that expression? Luck favors the prepared. My good luck presented itself at that moment.

Is that when you first realized the power of a director with vision?

Absolutely. There can only be one messiah, and that’s the director. Also, I don’t want to be the keeper of the entire production.

But you’re doing a kind of directing on your next film, “Where the Wild Things Are.”

No, Spike Jonze is directing. I’m co-starring as Max’s mom, and I’m going to help coach the movements of the wild things. I’m just there to assist.

You were nominated for an Academy Award for “Being John Malkovich” in 2000, and you didn’t think you were right for the part.

That’s the director, again. It took Spike’s imagination to cast me. I wasn’t who I saw for the part of Maxine. She was sexy and bold, and

I didn’t really like her. During shooting, someone on the crew said, “Maxine’s not my type,” and I took it so personally.

How were the Oscars this year?

Well, the day I got nominated, I had jury duty — a D.U.I. case. The morning the nominations were announced, I reported to jury duty as scheduled. That was good — it gave me perspective. If you start feeling too important, it’s always good to go sit in a jury for a D.U.I. charge.

first of the weekly installments of:


this week it's the turn of deliverance...

that's right. writhe in pain...

Just another ordinary day at the beach.........

cute boys, cute girls

la crudette..

and er...maude!...er...get out of the way! (can't even take photo of myself in peace now..)

and ME! (finally)

oh i do love that little turdette, tragically

25 August, 2006

Sweet on a green-eyed girl

All fiery Irish clip and curl

All brine and piss and vinegar

I paid twenty-five cents to light

A little white candle

And the world may be long for you

But'll never belong to you

But on a motorbike

When all the city lights

Blind your eyes tonight

Are you feeling better now?

(Grace Cathedral Hill)

what you don't remember, never happened


she's a woman now.
ok fuk
so she's been humping my arm for the past two weeks (a woman with good taste naturally)
today, our hot, sweaty, hot and bothered mejicano comes back bare-chested (hot and sweaty, sorry to be ramming the point home) from a JOG and decides to spontaneously break out in sit-ups in the terrace (no doubt in a pool of maude piss). maude sprints and humps him sideways (clearly a woman with good taste). overdosing on several hormones, on-the-cusp of womanhood, our maudette decides to splatter drops of blood around the house. (brewsta refers this to me over the phone, while i'm sippin mojitos) oh dear. well, i guess this is it, then. 4 1/2 months later and am lumped with an over-sexed polymorphously perverse dog. oh well, like mother.......... (actually.......)

The Hollywood Sign Girl

Peg Entwistle, aspiring Hollywood actress in the 1930s, one night climbed up a workman's ladder to the top of the 50-foot H of the Hollywoodland sign, and threw herself off.

24 August, 2006

Italian Titles for Non-Italian films

after a giggle and a chuckle, reflecting on these, my thought is that they really are HIGHLY offensive in how rotten they are. i mean, to take a line of AlexanderPope and succeed in turning a poetic title into something trite, common, vulgar, cheesy, vulgar...well... it takes some effort! (not to mention THE proverbial biscuit). now, couple with this my major pet peeve: the inexplicable existence and stubborn persistence of DUBBING in this country and well...we could have a five-page rant on our hands. but am going to let it slide, if not just to throw out a cautionary message: people, learn to read subtitles! and if you can learn the sodding language! (i appreciate this isn't always possible/likely but you catch my drift).

not sure i can look at one ever again after 3 and a bit hefty slices of a divine birthday cake concocted by nadia to celebrate a not-so-grumpy, not-so-old man. MammaMia. i keep having mystic visions. flashbacks. epiphanies. followed by painful cramps. stitches. and sudden pains. what a cake! . you know, just the right texture, soaked in goodness, yet light. don't even get me started on the icing. erm (ed: ok, enough already)

23 August, 2006

guest posting again - it's oats, f being too impatient to wait for her computer to unfreeze. blah blah.....another random pic, blah blah.

the serendipitous discovery of MURIEL, a film i have long-sought and just found, has triggered many thoughts. my excitement has taken me back to my one and true love: cinema. few things and people have filled me with as much as emotion and joy as the silver screen, which as all great lovers has let me down but always with the unfailing premise that it could with a single image or a passing word life me again to great heights.

``She floated, an elegant specter, through films by Alain Resnais, François Truffaut, and Joseph Losey, her rich, mellifluous voice a thrilling instrument. But she could also have fun being campy and bitchy in cult classics by dedicated avant-gardists. French actress Delphine Seyrig lent her magnetizing screen presence to the most challenging works of post-war European cinema. For decades before her death in 1990, her passionate feminism also fueled her work with noted women directors. This series of over 20 films (including her one directorial effort) honors a unique and fearless career.
Seyrig's talent for combining empathy and aloofness was perfectly suited to a film culture where characters remain largely opaque to one another. In Resnais's Last Year in Marienbad (1961), she wanders through a baroque vacation spa, as a mysterious stranger tries to convince her that they once conducted a passionate affair there. Resnais's Muriel (1963) is an absorbing portrait of a restless French culture, riven by both the memory of World War II and the recent defeat in Algeria. Seyrig plays a widowed antique dealer whose reunion with a former beau is complicated by the presence of both her unstable stepson and the old flame's new young lover. Again, she's a fascinating mass of contradictions—a reckless, would-be bourgeoise, yearning for lost love and giddily propelled toward the future.

``No discussion of Seyrig's oeuvre would be complete without noting her work with maverick German auteur Ulrike Ottinger. In both The Image of Dorian Gray in the Yellow Press (1984), a surreal satire of modern media culture, and Johanna d'Arc of Mongolia (1988), a sumptuous vision of life along the Trans-Siberian railroad, she's the cool, commanding authority at the center of a host of wacky fantasies. And in Chantal Akerman's Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975), as a bourgeois widow who turns one trick a day to help make ends meet, she gives perhaps her most sublime performance. The musical voice is largely silent, while the ordinary gestures of housekeeping become a poem of suppressed rage and beauty.'' (village voice)

Ascolta, ti ricordi quando venne
la nave del fenicio a portar via
me, con tutta la voglia di cantare
gli uomini, il mondo, e farne poesia...
Con l'occhio azzurro io ti salutavo
con quello blu io già ti rimpiangevo
e l'albero tremava e vidi terra
i Greci, i fuochi e l'infinita guerra...

Li vidi ad uno ad uno
mentre aprivano la mano
e mi mostravano la sorte
come a dire "Noi scegliamo,
non c'è un Dio che sia più forte"
e l'ombra nera che passò
ridendo ripeteva no...

22 August, 2006

sharing the love. sharing the love. sharing the love. thanks to you

you know.
you know where you are
you know where you are
floor collapses floating, bouncing back and one day
.......I am gonna grow wings

re: lola

O: aren't you over chasing lola yet? how mundane
f: no. not mundane. consistent.
f: steadfast
O: repetitive
O: redundant
f (z help me): loyal
O: monotonous
f: (errrrrrr...z?): destiny has no timeline. i think you're failing to appreciate my good qualities
O: if anyone, i'm appreciative of your qualities. which usually include imagination
f: yes. and the concept stays. chasing the impossible. it's a life
mission. won't change just because you're bored of seeing it on msg9.

well, truth be told it *IS* getting a bit old.....


The dilemma: Maude ran off with one flip of the ONLY pair of flops f owns, forcing her to fall back on some smelly rump of a camel slippers purchased in india a few years back.
a few hours into office time...

z: please take f shopping for flip flops asap.
O: babe, i would...but i can't go near her with those camel shoes.
i just can't
z: she needs to take immediate action.

settling down to a cheery, life-affirming, action packed little french movie



fuking computer has gone whacky and i can't upload. fuckety fuk frak fruk frik. or only with great difficulty. fuk

21 August, 2006


Oats recounts...
The Scene: the open-floor office
The people: the whole office
The time: 3:30 p/m.

`` So. our bureau chief showed us this YouTube video of his kid and wanted us to rate
it so we could make his kid a star! so we do. and we're passing round the video etc. cue 10 minutes later when buro chief SHOUTS out across the newsroom:

clearly we both forgot that she has an account on youtube under that name

Johnny Cash - Delia's Gone

OATS STRIKES GOLD AGAIN and knows her chicken

click here to view...WOW

First time I shot her
I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round
Delia's gone


f: i do envy gaymen. so instinctual.just get down to business
o: what? whatever. like you ever step back and think `no'


m: this is what you missed out on yesterday
f (privately): uh-huh big TIME.

20 August, 2006

"The only things that are important in life are the things you remember."

jesus mary and joseph

someone has compared, in a single breathe, INNOCENCE (2004) to (in no particular order): Last Year at Marienbad, 2046, A Zed with Two Noughts, Stalker, Thin Red Line, Angela Carter (In the company of Wolves!), the spirit of the beehive and the real CLINCHER `a pre-teen take on 'Celine and Julie Go Boating?' .

after reading that, and incapable of picking my JAW off the floor, i read on...

``A Gothic fantasy set in a mysterious walled complex, deep in the forest, where dozens of prepubescent girls are being raised for an unspecified future purpose in an unseen outside world. But despite a nudge-nudge, wink-wink attitude adopted by certain critics, Lucile Hadzihalilovic's "Innocence" is a lovely, tender and, yes, innocent film about childhood, which captures both its light, idyllic moments and its undeniably dark undercurrents with extraordinary rigor. This is the weirdest film I've seen all year, or at least the weirdest good film.'' (Salon)

not to mention the Village Voice, which most often than not pans EVERYTHING, waxed lyrical about it


ok. need to get a grip, cause i'm losing it

Hey BOY! hey GIRL!

superstar DJ! here we go!

4 a.m. back, giddy but sober from a fab night out with my favourite man in rome.
much bopping. much jumping up and down. a couple of cuties oggled miiiiiiiichael but we were far to busy jumping like loons to kylie to notice the randomness of the male/female gay universe.

amen. here is to friendship and zipping on a scooter in a t-shirt feeling the warm wind dry your cold sweat

19 August, 2006


genius at work


Dmitrij Shostakovich ebbe con la comunicazione epistolare un rapporto ossessivo e compulsivo, quasi come con la sua attività artistica. Scriveva lettere e componeva spinto da un ansioso bisogno di riempire i vuoti dell’esistenza, e ovunque nella sua musica – nelle sinfonie, nei quartetti, nelle opere vocali e per il teatro, nelle numerose colonne sonore – un’attitudine costruttivistica sembra voler celare un nucleo di interiorità tragica, che pure trapela qua e là tra le maglie della composizione e ne fonda la necessità poetica. Da questa silloge di lettere del suo vastissimo epistolario, per la prima volta tradotte in lingua italiana, molto emerge di quel complesso mondo interiore, sempre venato di un’ironia quotidiana e un po’ surreale che ricorda i racconti e i romanzi di Cechov e Gogol’. Trascrivere la vita intera traccia le tappe di un’autobiografia, integrata e raccordata dagli interventi della curatrice Elizabeth Wilson, da cui è possibile estrarre preziosi dettagli sulla formazione e sulle prime esperienze artistiche di Shostakovich , sulla gestazione e la genesi delle opere, sugli intensi rapporti affettivi e intellettuali con amici e maestri, con compositori più giovani e con gli allievi, oltre che con interpreti del calibro di David Ojstrach e Mstislav Rostropovich. Sono pagine attraversate dagli echi della guerra, dalle difficoltà della vita sotto il regime sovietico, e dal rapporto sofferto e ambivalente del compositore con l’establishment, che fu causa delle alterne fortune della sua musica in patria – dalla caduta in disgrazia nei duri anni dello stalinismo alla successiva riabilitazione – prima che Dmitrij Shostakovich fosse definitivamente consegnato alla storia del Novecento.

18 August, 2006

films i need to see, and won't die till i see:

the list is a work in progress

near dark -- the vampire movie i need to see

the film i have been looking for for all of my adult life


still cute. but by jove is she growing (so are her turds), just capturing the moment while i still can.

Photo: courtesy of Heibi

conversations between two friends

f: you are revolting. I love it
m: how bout with my old friends we are so foul mouthed then sometimes I
forget the boundries, this week has involved (not all directly)
trannies, prozzies, 3somes, muscleboy sex, swallowing, stoned sex,
ah what next?

Tonight we raise the bar...
f: we are so jaded. nothing can shock us.
m: i thought that, then I discovered a scarry tranny bar
f: i love to sink new lows
m: ok, promise me, you have to do what I say...
f: what do you mean? when? with who? er!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love that i'm chasing breakingnews on bomb scares while messaging filth with you

now take this oath

f: i need a nugget of info. before i agree to anything so nuts. you will have me
bound and gagged and uhhhhhhh. that sounds quite nice actually.
don't worry,

you wont even realise what you're doing.

trust me
m: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. does this involve you forcing me to drink to an unconscious state then? i won't do it. i'm a mother now.
m: hush my love
and listen to the drunk man
f: ok. i will do it.

to be continued...

Midgets: an enduring oat-ian and crowbar-ish obsession

we spotted one today. at the piazza. with the added bonus of a hunchback.
now i know this is unsavoury. very politically incorrect, infantile, possibly sick but dammit if i can't indulge this fad on this forum, where else am i going to do it? oats was feeling very inspired today and dug up a few CRACKERS

midgets -take one

midgets -take two

and for anyone feeling lonely, date a little

and for a classic piece of dialogue about little people, Living in Oblivion (1995)
starring none other than CK, who plays an actress on the set of an indipendent movie. she has to re-enact a dream sequence that includes little person Tito, who is very unthrilled and voices his displeasure to the director (Steve Buscemi).

Tito: Why does my character have to be a dwarf?
Nick: He doesn't have to be.
Tito: Then why is he? Is that the only way you can make this a dream, to put a dwarf in it?
Nick: No, Tito, I...
Tito: Have you ever had a dream with a dwarf in it? Do you know anyone who's had a dream with a dwarf in it? No! I don't even have dreams with dwarves in them. The only place I've seen dwarves in dreams is in stupid movies like this! "Oh make it weird, put a dwarf in it!". Everyone will go "Woah, this must be a fuckin' dream, there's a fuckin' dwarf in it!". Well I'm sick of it! You can take this dream sequence and stick it up your ass!

before i wrap this up.
midget and dwarf i realize are different things. i just like the word MIDGET

hoola and hooping

it's become something of a recent but well-established tradition now, at the nadia and magdy ghieth's home, to indulge in a spot of the above. everyone seems to display their own particular styles. oats is a true pro. she can smoke a fag. swig a drink and give the hip a slight sway to keep that hoop twisting and turning. nadia is a swinger! magdy seems to barely move apart from the odd and well timed jerk. i was something of a disaster. arms flailing. head bopping and butting.

nip/tuck momentarily suspended for all of 10 minutes.

the arrival of my new flatmate.


it's a tough job but someone had to do it.

ferragosto. a rather annoying and pointless holiday i find. far too many people taking bridges. meaning far too many shops closed. not sure what the hell one is supposed to do. avoid where everyone else is has all always been my primary concern when bloody aug. 15 rocks up. so..............this year round it was HOME. OATS. BREWSTA. MAUDE. for a marathon of nip/tuck. two series. 24 episodes. one hour each. crammed. maude's anguished look may say it all. it was hardcore. i emerged dreaming of silicon implants and impervious to splatterings of fat resulting from blotched liposuction.


what to say?
i love you. 1993 i believe, campbell house, university college london, bloomsbury. rats abound in the kitchen. well, it is student residence, afterall. fortitude. builds up the spirit and all that. am really not impressed by the people there, least of all my room-mate who seems to fornicating with the frequency of a rabbit in OUR room, the size of well, it's very small. i was bopping about one weekend, donning what was to become my favourite outfit in and out of school/residence: my pyjamas. i see heidi. something compels me to go up to her. drag her to the livingroom where there was a tv, force her to watch in the name of the rose and never leave her side. well, we've been friends ever-since.i could bang on about all her wonderful qualities but that would make her bashful since i intend to tell her the second i'm done with this that i've posted her up. though i haven't seen her as much as i should have over the years, she had an overdose of me recently in london and rome. by the look on her face that might have been enough.